Basketball and Swine Flu

After 18 years, the Atlanta Hawks finally managed to win a 7-game series and advanced to the 2nd round where they will face what is most likely their demise in the form of LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. The Hawks prevailed in what was, to most accounts, one of the least interesting playoff series in recent memory, especially when compared to the Celt's-Bulls series, which was easily one of the best. As an attendee of Sunday's game 7, I was thrilled that the Hawks won, but found myself hoping towards the end that Dwayne Wade would get subbed back in and sink 3's a la Flea in a MTV Rock 'N' Jock Basketball game. Does anyone else remember the 5-point basket that would come down from the rafters and hang temptingly at 25 feet above the floor? In blowout playoff games, I feel like this could be a very intriguing addition that could renew the drama in lackluster series such as the Hawks-Heat, where 20+ point margins of victory were rampant. I did revel in the fact that Pachoulia got a larger standing-o than Joe Johnson, and that they portrayed Zaza in a video at the half as Rocky taking on Apollo Creed (Dwayne Wade), complete with training sequences of him sporting a hoodie, air boxing. Simply brilliant.
In other news, just outside the friendly confines of Phillips arena, a deadly menace lurked, as "Fiesta Atlanta" took over Centennial Olympic park. The seething mass of illegals milled about, infecting one another to the tune of accordion-led mariachi music, and the tainted offspring frolicked in the water fountains in what was clearly fever-induced delirium. As threatening thunderheads loomed perilously above, merchants of death hawked their wares to unsuspecting victims desiring tacos, bebidas, and anything that can be mass-produced and stamped with a South American country's flag. I tried to warn others that the seemingly innocent celebration of heritage was in fact a cleverly disguised, overt attempt to hasten the spread of the pandemic H1N1 virus, but it was to no avail. My desperate cries were swallowed up by the drone of the nonsensical ramblings of the sick over the PA system. as I fled the scene, one gibberish phrase that was repeated ad nauseum became ingrained in my mind... "Hola Atlanta! Muchas gracias a todos por asistir hoy!" Obviously, I am fortunate to have escaped with my life. Check out the grizzly photos I managed to snap of the carnage.